Something i’ve been looking at doing for a while is introducing guest posts onto my blog. Chaz got in contact with me and she decided to write a personal post in which she raises awareness and talks about her experience for personality disorders and I’m really glad i’ve got to share this with you!
I have a personality disorder, but my therapists refused to officially diagnose me. This is the kind of thing you’ll hear often from people who are trying to get treatment for any sort of personality disorder. Some of them are more easily diagnosed than others, and I think that’s stupid.
The one thing that made me recover from my other mental illnesses, anxiety, depression, dissociative disorder, was knowing what I had and being able to do my own learning and research on it. Never in a million years would I have gotten better without helping myself. The only reason I am so easily able to deal with my Borderline Personality Disorder today, is from googling it, extensive research at home, and teaching others around me about what I’ve found out.
They say they don’t want to give you a diagnosis because it’ll ruin your life. It’ll ruin opportunities, people won’t want to hire you, people will be scared of you. I get it, it’s a scary way of saying it, you start to think this person isn’t who they say they are because they clearly have problems with stabilising their personality. Why does that mean you should listen to the stereotypes inside of your head? Why does that mean we get treated differently, why does that mean we can’t get the treatment we need?
I was out right denied therapy for my disorder. I was told I could do ‘group therapy’ in DBT, but only that. For anyone that doesn’t know, BPD has a set therapy form called DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy), which usually consists of 1 hour with a 1-1 therapist and 2 hours in group therapy, with qualified therapists. The thing that helped me the most throughout my 13 year journey of therapy, is 1-1 sessions. I was denied those, because I didn’t have a diagnosis. Why is that stupid? Because they are the ones who didn’t give me the diagnosis to begin with.
So not only did I not have a diagnosis, the same people then denied me my therapy that would help me, and hardly gave me any extra information on what I supposedly had been told I had! Isn’t our therapy system amazing in the UK? Also, in case you were wondering, only over 18’s can be diagnosed with a personality disorder in the UK. That’s because it’s apparently ‘easier’ to distinguish the personality disorder symptoms from ‘normal’ growing up symptoms. Do you not think giving children the chance at therapy would benefit them, get them help before things get worse? Be proactive, instead of reactive?
As you can tell, I’m angry. This happened to me over a year ago and I’m still angry about it. It shouldn’t be this way, people like me shouldn’t have to go through this. Please, if you want to help someone, educate yourself about personality disorders. There’s 10 of them, and not all of them fit the stereotype you’re thinking of. It’s an interesting subject, and the people who are suffering just need support and friendship.
Not only that, but educate yourselves more on the statistics of personality disorders. 70% of people with BPD will attempt suicide at least once in their life. How shocking is that? There’s a lot more where that came from, and I promise they’re just as surprising. Educate yourselves on symptoms, how to be proactive about personality disorders in friends and family, and how to get help. Educate yourselves on the difficulty of being diagnosed, therapy treatments, the costs of private treatment, the stigma we face. Maybe if other people were angry too, we could accomplish something together.
*Content in this post was written by Chaz and all photos were taken by me*
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