Toxic relationships.

You are in control of your life, the people in it and how you treat those people- the only thing you can’t control is how people treat you. Wouldn’t it be nice to be treated the way you treat other people? We can only wish.

Taken from www.psychologytoday.com, a toxic relationship is: any relationship that is unfavourable to you or others. It’s not just abuse either. Maybe your partner is keeping a ‘scorecard’ of everything you’ve ever done wrong in the past and bringing it up a year later to use it against you, being blamed for the way your partner is feeling or maybe there’s just a hostile atmosphere between you both- those are pretty much signs that you’re in a relationship.

As an avid Tumblr user, there are certain quotes that I see a lot, and these are usually romanticising toxic relationships. There’s nothing ‘pretty’ about someone destroying you and you shouldn’t want to stay in your relationship if you feel it’s becoming toxic

Of course if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s quite angry, blames you all the time or is a really controlling person then it might be quite hard to get over the fear of breaking up with them- there’s nothing wrong with worrying what they might do. In terms of advice, it’s quite hard to say anything. Just telling someone to end the relationship is a lot easier said than it is done but ultimately you control your happiness. Cutting ties with toxic people can be so difficult, especially if you’re deep into the relationship.

The whole idea of this post is to kind of spread awareness and I definitely think this is a topic that’s hardly spoken about amongst social media. A lot of people who haven’t been in one or seen second hand how it affects a person don’t understand how bad it can get- physically and mentally.

The common misconception is that a toxic relationship has to be a relationship, not a friendship but in fact I know far more people who’ve been in toxic friendships than people who’ve been in toxic relationships. There is a big difference between how it affects people because friendships and relationships are different but at the end of the day they can both destroy your emotional wellbeing. I’ve had a few fair shares of toxic friendships and it is hard to say to that person you don’t want to be their friend anymore because it might not be convenient but your friendship shouldn’t be a matter of convenience, it should make you happy and not feeling like you can’t mention things or do certain stuff around them.

I decided to take to Twitter and my followers/friends their advice & experience on Toxic relationships and toxic friendships. All respondents are kept anonymous and I appreciate their contributions.

The first respondent told me about a past relationship that was toxic and their experience on it.

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The 2nd and final respondent talked about their experience with a toxic friendship

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At the end of the day, you have to put your walls up and control who you let into your life and who’s there to stay. There’s no place in your life someone who doesn’t want you the way that you are.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoyed this little different post today! I’d love to hear your thoughts on toxic relationships in the comments below.

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15 thoughts on “Toxic relationships.

  1. zaramcintosh says:

    I can really relate to respondent 2 in a few areas, I can definitely say that I think toxic friendship are the worst to find yourself in. It’s hard when you want to break away from the toxic part but still remain as mutual friends because it’s often the case of being all or nothing.
    Zara xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. sophieheartsnet says:

    What an interesting topic! I’ve had a few toxic relationships in the past (partners and friends) and they’re the absolute worst, the problem can be if you perceive toxic behaviour as normal. At the time I knew I was in not ideal situations but didn’t have anything to compare them too, its only with hindsight and new, non-toxic relationships that I understand how bad they were!x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jokerscuckoo says:

    Good read, this makes sense. I am not in a toxic relationship or have ever been in one but my sister was just in one and I can say it tore our family a part.

    We are slowly picking the pieces back up but it’s hard to trust her because of how she let herself be treated by this guy, how he came in and took advantage or her and my mom and how the whole time I was the enemy for trying to get it to stop.

    She was head over heels with this kid that no matter what he did to her or my mom he could do nothing wrong. Drugs were involved, $$ was stolen, lies were being told…and much more.

    Everyone seems to be on the right track but I’m scared, my sister is now with a new kid (only months later) and he’s already moving in and using my moms car… that’s how it started before. My sister isn’t innocent in this either, she is a firecracker and can also be the mean one in the relationship.I think she’s afraid to be alone and the first sign of affection she starts talking babies and weddings. :-/

    Hopefully this time isn’t the case but if so I hope I can catch it before it starts, however it was making me sick and interfering with my marriage.

    How much do you take or try to help before you have to tell yourself to back off, it was almost a year for me when I threw my hands up and told em good luck. Sometimes that’s what you have to do.

    Thanks for letting me babble!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. venyassecret says:

    So how do you get a toxic husband to leave the house, short of getting the police involved? Have asked him to leave several times but says he won’t because it’s his house. I’m looking to use my brain not force otherwise, should he leave, he will come right back and make my life a living hell. Venya

    Like

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